420 ftw
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
