so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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