my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
