I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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