i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
