did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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