Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
