how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
