watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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