i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
