in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
