I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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