HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
