I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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