do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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