Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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