HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
