matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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