I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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