I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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