were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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