And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
