forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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