I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
