my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
