I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
