How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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