Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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