You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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