You just made me feel so damn special
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
