My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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