Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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