Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
