Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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