Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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