no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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