Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
