38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
