YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Randomize
