Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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