so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
