so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
