sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
