Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
