somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
