i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
