I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
