kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
