I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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