I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
